Model Mayhem

ModelMayhem.com is both wonderful and horrendous; equal parts Facebook and Linkedin, "MM" (shorthand for us regulars) is ideally used as a networking tool to unite models, photographers, hair-stylists, make-up artists, clothing designers, and Photoshop wizards so that we may tap each other's perspective talents in order to collaborate with the intention of making pretty pictures...

However, just as Agent Smith described to Neo how the first Matrixwas designed to be a Utopia, but was rejected by mankind due his innate need to suffer or cause suffering.... ModelMayhem's mission statement has been diluted and overrun by two nefarious miscreants:

1) The delusional girl who ranks a solid "5 or 6" on the attractiveness scale, yet advertises herself as a "model" because someone, somewhere, at some time, tried to roofie her drink, therefore she has confirmed in her mind that she is found "attractive" by other people and fancies herself now amongst the ranks of the beautiful elite and Elite.

These girls' "portfolios" on their MM profile consist mainly of iPhone snapped self-portraits (usually taken in their native bathroom-mirror environment) or clearly taken by a sub-amatuer (see #2 below) featuring a flat composition, generic setting (red brick wall of an alley, anyone?), and a mish-mash of whatever they could find in their closet.

Don't peg me an asshole... a lot of these girls are attractive in their own right, I suppose... but there is a grand canyon between your average girl-next-door-cutie and a true professional model. My favorite quote pulled from a profile by a fellow frustrated MM photog reads:

"If you are not of the caliber of the girls in my portfolio, don't bother contacting me. I don't want to shoot you. An average photograph of a stunning model does far more for a photographer's career, than a stunning photograph of an average model."

...I can't think of any better way to convey the reality of the modeling world to these girls. However, in this internet age of self-publication, MM allows anyone to claim the moniker "model", without so much as a Randy Jackson to offer a kind, but sobering screening.

...And this sucks, because none of these poor delusional girls will ever be "discovered" on this website, because if you're 5'4" and 130lb, I don't care how much side-boob or implied nudity you show,you're not going to ever make it in the legit modeling world!!

Being featured in a shitty internet ad for a boutique store on Melrose does not make you a real model. Doing yoga poses in the nude for an arty black&white self-proclaimed "world renowned" 50 y.o. photographer does not make you a real model. Doing runway for a local charity fashion-show does not make you a real model...

All these flocks of chicks with day-dreams of being suddenly discovered, signed to an agency, and flown around the world to have pictures taken of them donned in designer dresses and being featured in W and Vogue, are all just desperately seeking validation of their attractiveness and doing nothing but cluttering, diluting, or worse-- scaring away any real promising talent who might want to get their start on MM.

Which leads us directly into the second worst thing about MM... all these self-made 'models' attract:

2) The creepy Guy With a Camera, aka, "G.W.C." who poses as a professional photographer and preys on girls who fall into the aforementioned, trying to convince them (and often succeeding) into doing nude shoots at their creepy house out in Oxnard.

I'm serious, my 13 year old cousin with her crappy 3 megapixel point-n-shoot could take better pictures than these guys; at least hers would be of pretty butterflies or cute puppies. These GWC jaggoffs usually utilize the backdrop of either their basement (complete with pool table and neon beer sign in the background),unkempt back-yard, bedroom with animal-print sheets (soooo many of these), or in/around some kind of motorcycle/muscle-car. And the worst part of it is, they get SO many girls who shoot with them. It's fucking baffling.

These two assholes have brought droves of their brethren to Model Mayhem with them, causing legitimate talent (mainly models) to flee screaming. This leaves photographers like myself scouring countless combinations of keyword searches, trying to find just onnnnnnne girl taller than 5'9" who is prettier than myself. It's hard... it really is.

Yes, there are diamonds in the rough; girls who either should be signed to an agency but haven't quite caught on to that yet or are using MM to test the waters... or signed models who use MM as another marketing tool to get them "out there". Either one are rare finds, or they make you go through their agency anyway, which kind of pisses me off, but that's for another entry.

You may say, 'if I have so many complaints, why don't I just go through a real agency?' Well, your typical working model usually does not do test shoots unless they are literally JUST starting out and need their first set of pictures. If signed models DO test, they book by half-day and full-day rates (rarely just hourly); my friend Amy, a legit model repped by a big Los Angeles agency, has a $1500 day-rate. She loves me, so she tests for me for free and I love her back for it... but my entire port can't be of just her. My point is, in this economy-- which seems like it's here to stay for the most part unless China is suddenly swallowed up by the Earth-- no photographer can afford to book an agency-repped model for solely for port testing.

Of course, the back-door to this is to get on any agency's short-list of stock-photographers, so when new girls are signed, they send them to you for their first comp-card pics. And yes, I'm currently trying to weasel my way onto some of those short-lists...but it's competitive as shit out there, and I like to keep honing in the interim...

...Which is why Model Mayhem CAN be good. For there ARE gems you can find and who are willing (or wanting) to work with you as well. In fact, I just shot with one of these diamonds last Sunday (she will have her own entry shortly)... and I got some great selects from our shoot.

The MM forums is probably the best part of Model Mayhem. Divided up into several categories, I've found myself using the 'Digital Re-toucher's" sub-forum the most. I can basically go on, post any kind of question pertaining to how to achieve a certain look in Photoshop, and within an hour I'll have two dozen answers or suggestions. A bad/lazy habit I've gotten into is just simply posting a picture that has a particular look or color-tone/scheme and I'll just write, 'How do I replicate this'. Yes, I know I should be breaking it down myself, but honestly, sometimes I don't have the time... and I always get an answer.

So, what I said in the beginning is what I'll maintain at the end: Model Mayhem is a love/hate photographer's website that offers much in opportunity and content, but nearly cancels the benefits out in volumes of annoyance and unprofessionalism.